people who say pop instead of soda are not my friends they are my enemies
You mean the population of England?
3780
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sometimes i see dudes on the internet like “ya i have a 10 inch dick” and then i eat a 6 inch subway sandwich and im looking at this sandwich and its like..idk how almost double that would be a good thing my vagina winces at the thought
it was 4am and i compared a penis to a sandwich
“Your hair is red. That’s my second favourite colour.”
“What’s your first favourite colour?”
“Reflective.”
“Is that technically a colour though?”
“It is if I say so. I control words, they don’t control me. Now I imagine you want to touch my muscles. You may want to use both hands, they’re quite large.”
omfg perf
